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Here are the write-ups from some of our previous Hashes. If you have a write-up about a previous hash that you would like to submit, please click here
The Heartland Hash no. 203 was on Friday August 6th at
7:00. Two Tanks was the hare. There were about 35 total hashers. I think there were 5
regular hashers and 30 first time Leavenworth hashers. We met at haymarket square. Two
Tanks took off about 7:15 After doing chalk talk the pack took off on trail. The trail
pretty much ran through the streets. It wasn't your normal two tanks death march. In fact
it was a reasonable length trail. I wonder if he was sick or something? Anyway we all made
it to the end. I decided to run back on the trail to look for the walkers who were on a
shortcut. I never found them and was the last one in (about 30 minutes after everyone else
got there). I hadn't brought enough beer, so I had to do a beer run. The beer meister's
job is never done. When I got back with the beer, down down's had
The Kansas City HHH Hash No. 462 was on Sunday August 8th. It was 39D and Gerbil's Birthdays and they were the hares. There were about 20 total hashers. 2 Leavenworth Hashers (Keith and Tom), 2 Fort Lost in the Bush Hashers (Rectum Runner and Charm My Snake), and an Arizona Hasher (Mr. Clean) attended. We met at the Taco Johns at 51st and Roe Avenue. The hares showed up late and seemed kind of hung over. So about 12:30 the hares took off. After waiting 12 minutes the pack took off on trail. The trail went behind the Wal-Mart and then off on the streets. At a "Y" in the road we came up to a true trail arrow that pointed to the left. Shortly after the arrow there was a big gob of flour so we assumed we were on trail. So we ran on down the road for about a half mile before we finally figured out that we weren't on trail. So we went back and found where the real trail had gone to. Being curious I went back to the true trail arrow and seen that the real trail had gone to the right and someone had messed with us by altering the trail. I'm not accusing anyone, but it was right in front of A Lot of Fun Back There's place. Then we were all back on trail again. We ended up going by the Roe Dome and on through a park to a beer stop. STFU and Bitch Ditcher were short cutting and missed the beer stop. Bitch Ditcher went on to catch the hares. What a FRB. After drinking a beer and cooling off we were off again on trail. The trail ended at 39D's apartment. Then it was time to do the down downs. We had 5 visitors, 3 increments, 2 no blows, 1 Tidy Whities, and 3 birthday down downs. No P.P. got the hash shit for just being himself. We named Brian Tuttle (Desperately Seeking Suck), Tom (Queen's Bitch), and Keith (Smells like fish - Tastes like chicken) . After the down downs we went to the pool. There was a lot of fun at the pool. Some of the highlights that I remember were Toy and 39D doing bottomless synchronized swimming, 39D and Gerbil wearing each others swim suit bottoms, CB losing some of her clothes in the bottom of the pool, most people peeing along the side of the pool's patio, and lots of people being pushed into the pool. At about 6:00 the remaining hashers decided to leave.
The Heartland HHH Hash No. 200 weekend was on July 9th, 10th and 11th. The location of the event was at Tinkle Bell's mom's place. On Friday night some of the hashers arrived and prepared for the upcoming weekend by setting up tents. I was amazed at some of the elaborate accommodations that were set up. There were dressers, tables, beds, fans, pictures, lights, pink flamingos, etc. I think they had everything except for running water. After everything was set up we spent the rest of the evening socializing. Lick Me Clean and I tried our best to drink all of the keg, but finally had to give up and go to bed. Saturday morning was kind of quiet. At about 11:00 some of the hashers began arriving. By 3:00 everyone had arrived and we were ready to start the hash. Sueee, Bullet, Shut The F#$% Up, and I were the hares. There were about 18 - 19 hashers there. There were two trails, an eagle and a turkey trail. I don't think anyone did the turkey trail so I'll describe the eagle trail. The trail started north through the woods, ran into town a ways, and then went through a field. Next it went into the woods again. The trees and brush were so thick in there that Bullet was crawling on his hands and knees at times to lay the trail. We finally came out of the trees at the first beer stop ( a radio tower). The trail then went down the hill, past the high school, and went to the second beer stop (Brown Eye's Parents House). We left there and went up Limit street to 14th street. Along Limit Street the hares ran into 4 hashers that were on a short cut. Can you imagine why anyone would want to skip the poison ivy, chiggers, brambles, and all that fun stuff and go directly to the beer? It does sound like a pretty good idea! Next the trail went down 14th street to the creek. That was the best part of the trail. It ran down the creek for about 3/4 of a mile. Lot's of shiggy. Most of us went into at least waist deep water and I fell in at least once. Somehow little Maria managed to keep out of the deep water and didn't even get her shorts wet. When we were almost to the end of the creek we went through a couple of box culverts under roads. Then we came back out of the creek and headed back to the beginning. There we all got cleaned up and began drinking beer. Then it was time for Down Downs. We had a couple of double digit down downs. Next was the virgin (JPW Fog). Brown Eye and some guy did the FRB down downs. Brown Eye chugged her beer so fast that we were all amazed. But then shortly thereafter she had to go puke it up. The funniest sight was when she was kneeling by the road ditch, still getting sick, and Two Tanks and Weekend Wailer drove up. Naturally they slowed down to wave at Brown Eye who paused long enough to wave back. Brown Eye was the hash shit runner up for the puking, and A Lot of Fun back There won the hash shit for not doing the hash, just staying at the on home. Then we named Maria, and some other guy. (I can't remember the real names) We named Maria "95 Pounds - Spins On a Bottle," but later decided to change it to "Hog Humper," and the guy "Big Foot - Little Dick." That's all the down downs I can remember, although there were probably more. After the hash business we started the partying. There were Jello shots and lots of beer. We played some volley ball, where we invoked the one bounce rule, mostly because we were drunk enough to make it difficult to hit the ball before it bounced. At midnight we did the 201st HHHH Hash. Pull Forward - Pull back and I were the invisible hares. We thought that we couldn't be seen, so we tried to hide along the trail. Naturally the pack spotted us right away and caught us. It was a short run, not much more than 1/4 miles. The only down down we did was for Lick me Clean's 50th hash, and we presented her with a mug. The rest of the night was spent doing Jello shots off of each other, playing truth or dare, and lots of other fun things. I know we went through tons of whipped cream, and someone went after more at least once or twice. Sueee and STFU made a batch of Yucca that contributed to getting a lot of people drunk. To our amazement Sueee did a down down with Yucca and kept it down. At about 2:30 or 3:00 the last of us passed out for the night. Sunday morning we got up, ate breakfast, packed up, and headed for home. We decided to skip the hang over hash. It was a great weekend. The food was fantastic. Tinkle Bell's mom makes cinnamon rolls that are to die for. There was plenty of beer and lots of fun. We said good bye to several of the military hashers who are leaving at the end of the week. Tinkle Bells and Pull Forward did a great job of organizing and preparing for everything. Thanks to all that made the weekend happen.
The Kansas City HHH Hash No. 458 was on Sunday July 11th. The hash started at the Hook and Ladder bar in Martin City. Brian Tuttle was the hare (this was his 4th hash). There were 13 total hashers. Sueee and JPW FOG were there from Leavenworth. There was one virgin Michael Rutledge. He said that he first heard about hashing when he ran into some of them in a bar in New Orleans. The trail was all in the woods along by the Big Blue River. There was a lot of Shiggy. There were 2 beer stops, although a lot of us missed the first one. The trail went through the creek and the woods and was lot's of fun. The only thing missing was that there weren't any checks on the trail although nobody was complaining. After we all got in we drove to Minor Park to do the down downs and eat. PMS dared Mu-sick and Thar She Blows to drive naked in their convertible to Minor Park and they did with their shorts on their craniums. It seemed like everyone ended up doing at least one down down. Many of us did multiple down down's. The Unknown Hasher got the hash shit award for the books he had in his car. Ask him about them! After awarding the hash shit we all decided that we should re-award it to Boy's R Us who said she was going to be at the hash with the beer and the roster, and then didn't show up. After the down downs we had burgers, songs and more beer. The virgin said he will make up a song for us for his next hash, so we will look forward to that. It was a good trail, great weather, cheap beer, and a fun hash.
The Heartland HHH Hash No. 198 was a on Saturday June 12th. Crack & Helen were the hares. There were 2 visiting hashers (Clapper from Junction City and Grandma from Witicha), 7 or 8 virgins, and a bunch or regular hashers. Sueee an experienced hasher from the Carolina hash did his first Leavenworth hash. I'm not sure how many total we had, but my guess would be 18 - 22. We met at the Food 4 Less at 20th and Spruce. The theme was a beach party, so Clapper and I got there ahead of time to set up our own little beach in the parking lot. The only thing I couldn't figure out was how to keep our drinks cold. It must have been because we didn't have the little drink umbrella's. After we all arrived, we carpooled to the real start of the hash which was at a farm. After pictures, the hares were off. We then introduced ourselves, drank some refreshments, and then it was time go. No one seemed to know which direction that the hares had gone, but soon we figured it out and we were away on trail. We went down the road to the first check. Then we ran around for a long time before we figured out that the trail went off down the creek. From then on the trail was great. We crossed the creek several times, ran through mud, water, and manure (we were mostly in pasture) and crossed several fences. I think crack found every muddy spot there was to run through. There were several hashers that fell down along the trail, including me. We eventually made our way to a water stop (No beer - we were disappointed). After a brief respite we were off on trail again. Towards the end of the trail John (a virgin) and I were running on trail when I had this hunch that the trail may have turned off in a field. We ran over to look, and that's when John spotted the hare (Crack) who was squatting down over by the trees. John did his best to run him down, but Crack made it on in before he could catch him. The on in was at Helen's place. We noticed some poison ivy along the trail, so the first thing we did was clean up. Group soaping, rubbing and rinsing is kind of fun. Then it was time for Down Downs. We had one increment and I had a triple digit down down. Next was the virgins. The virgin John & I then did the FRB down downs. I think Clapper was the female FRB, so I think she owes us a down down, because she didn't do one. A virgin named Ben (I think his last name was "Dover") won the hash shit for crawling under a fence and scratching himself up. That's all the down downs I can remember, although there were probably more. I was lucky I didn't get the hash shit, for I hadn't gotten enough Zima's, and we were already out by the time we started down downs. After the down downs we ate some food and then were ready to party. Some of us climbed up on the roof of the barn, until someone told us we may fall off if we got drunk. Good suggestion. There was a pool and so most everybody got on in. Somehow I lost my swim trunks, and then several other hashers seemed to lose theirs also. Fortunately we all seemed to be able to locate them again. Helen had a Trampoline in her front yard so we all seemed to make it over there at some time. Naked Trampolining is a blast. A Batchelorlette Party showed up while a few of us were on the Trampoline, and they spotted us, and knew we were naked even though it was dark. We hurriedly put our clothes on so we wouldn't offend anyone. Then we decided to sing Allouetta to the prospective bride. So much for not offending anyone. She was a great sport about it, and laughed at most of the verses. Towards the end of the night things were getting kind of fuzzy for me, so I don't remember everything else that went on. I think everyone had a great time, and we all hate to see Crack leave. He's heading to Washington DC area. Sounds like a great road trip destination. A few of us were in no shape to drive home, so Helen the gracious hostess, let us stay overnight. When we got back to the cars the next morning we had a note from 39D. Seems like she had came up, looked for the hash, and when she couldn't find it had went down to a bar to wait for us. I wonder if she's still there?
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